Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Up and Down

My husband loves to repeat a Saturday Night Live skit where Jerry Seinfeld says, "Oprah Winfrey? What's with her? She's fat, she's thin, she's fat, she's thin. Pick a body and stick with it!" I'm feeling like I can relate to Oprah, but for me it's my mood. I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm down. And I know my hubby would like to shout, "Pick a mood and stick with it!"

My solution for the blues is to surround myself with people. When I'm around people I can rise above the blue funk. I can forget all that overwhelms me and makes me sad. If I spend lots of time visiting, chatting, enjoying the company of others, whoosh, I'm up. If I read a good happy book, ahhhh, I'm up. Just one problem, while I'm busy socializing or reading, all the stuff I need to do piles up. Then, when I face the to-do pile, boom, I'm down.

I made three big mistakes in the past month. 1.) I read a book called 5 Quarters of the Orange. It was too deep and dark and heavy for me. And yet it was good in a stretching sort of way. 2.) I watched a DVD about Islam -- What the West Needs to Know. Yeah, well I didn't want to know that stuff. Now I do and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. 3.) I read The Kite Runner. I can't even talk about that. It's hailed as a story of redemption, and it is. But my heart and mind are weighed down with all the awful incidents I read. Things that needed to be redeemed...and were...after a fashion.

Somehow, I'm a better person for all this information. I don't feel better. A protective bubble burst. I'm deflated. Down. But when you're down, down, down, the only way to go is up. So here I am looking up, calling out, reaching toward the hand extended to me. Depending on Him to lift me up.

What do people do who don't have a Savior? I know. They do like one of my little boys used to do when we hopped in the car. I always turned around and asked, "Is your seat belt on?" He crossed his hands over his waist and said, "It's okay, I'll save myself."

No comments: