Thursday, January 31, 2008


The do-over thing with the needle is done. I spent most of the day resting, feeling like a whimp. But hey, the instructions said, go home and relax for the remainder of the day. I did. I like following orders, when I like the orders.

I had planned to take myself... I'm a big girl. I did it myself last time. I hate imposing, wasting someone else's time... But a young friend, Linda, offered to tag along, keep me company, hang out. Turned out that was awfully nice. Like when the nurses thought I had a bleeder and were sort of choking me to stop it. I was really glad to know someone was nearby just in case. It helped too, knowing that "the someone" was a praying person.

The very nice nurse went to get Linda. She was invited to come back and keep me company because I'd have to stay for a little while and be rechecked. -- Meanwhile the doctor took a look at the pictures and said, "No, no, it's fine. She can leave." But of course when I waltzed (more like shuffled) out into the hallway and said we can go now, Linda didn't believe me. She's so cute. She really didn't believe me. She patted the chair inviting me to sit beside her. Since I was still feeling beat up, I sat with her and explained that I really and truly was released. Ohhhh, but it felt good to sit for a couple more minutes anyway.

The morning was redeemed, before heading back home we went out for a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll. Can't beat that! Special thanks to all my friends who prayed for me. I appreciate you -- your friendship & your prayers.

So that's the tale of my little procedure and it leaves me wondering at all Whymommy has endured. Big deal or little deal, when it's your deal it's significant. I honestly contemplated not going through with this. And then I thought, what if Whymommy had put off having her unusual symptoms checked. What if Whymommy had listened to the first surgeon and only had one breast removed instead of two?

Saturday, January 26, 2008

My Space -- I Love It!

I'm busy carving out my space. It's not what you think, nothing technological or computer related -- except that I do have a computer in my space. I'm using it now.

I've taken over the loft area above the kitchen. Loft, that's an upscale word for attic, or garret as we called it when we moved into this old farm house 32 years ago. Garret I had to look it up to see if it had one "t" or two. Only one, but I'm still laughing at the definition -- an attic, usually a small wretched one. So that's why they called it the garret. It was indeed wretched. It was home for about a million bats. And you know what bats do? They fly around dropping guano, lots and lots of guano. I'm not positive, but I think, even when they were hibernating up here they kept on making guano. The floor of our wretched little attic was covered with guano. But that was a long time ago. More recently this space was Adam & David's room, then just David's room. Now, it's mine, all mine, and I love it.

It's cozy, secluded, but not too far away to know what's going on in the most important room of the house, the kitchen. And the window faces the driveway so I can see when anyone drives up. Perfect...I'm all by myself, but I won't miss a thing! Gotta love it.

Okay, so I've got to do something with those cords. And the bed? That's left over from David's bedroom. It's not my bed. This is not my bedroom. All's well in matrimonial paradise. I'm still sleeping with my husband in "our space".

Friday, January 25, 2008


That whole needle in the neck thing, yeah well, I've got to do it again. Not enough tissue on the first go 'round. Bummer, huh? My good friend Beth says that's why they call it practicing medicine. That's exactly what they're doing, practicing, on us. On the bright side, another good friend who is a nurse, said the questionable nodules must be very small if they didn't get a good enough sample to analyze. Okay, I'll go with that because it sounds less scary. (Big secret, way down in the depths of my rotten heart I'm thinking -- if I have to go through this again there better be something wrong. No, wait, I don't mean it God, really I don't. I'm just one of your whiny kids acting up again.)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sled Rides and Skiing

Here's a picture to go with last week's post. She was having fun and I was getting exercise!

This week it's bitter cold and snowy. Yesterday Tom built a fire in the fireplace and we got all sorts of work done around the house -- inside work! In mid-afternoon I braved the elements and had a ski around the field behind the barn. All that bright sunshine was just a teaser. The wind was bitter, and the snow was crunchy cold with a layer of powder on top -- perfect for gliding. Perfect surroundings for thinking, planning, praising the One who created all this good stuff for us to enjoy. By the time I came back inside I was warmed up from the inside out. Time to carry out some of those great plans I made while outdoors.

That was yesterday. Today I better bundle up and have at it again. Not because I already did everything I wanted to do, just to put off the doing. And maybe to think up some fun stuff.

Friday, January 18, 2008

A Great Day

I think this was the best day I ever had. Or perhaps it was just the best day in a long while. Then again, maybe, just maybe, it truly is the little things in life that make us happiest.

I went to get little Audrey out of her crib this morning. She lit up with a big sleepy grin, scampered to the side rail, stood up, reached for me and said, "Gam-ma". Yeah, really, she called me Gam-ma. Of course I'm not Grandma to her, but I fit the mold. Her other two caregivers are her grandmas, so in her little mind that should be my name too. My heart nearly burst with a giddy sort of happiness. All day long she needed things. And she held the key to get whatever she wanted. "Gam-ma, Aud-jee apple?" "Gam-ma, Aud-jee up?" "Gam-ma, snow, pull Aud-jee, Gam-ma" Whether she needed food, a snuggle, or a ride in the sled outside, I was in. I was Gam-ma for a day, might as well have been queen for a day. Except that I was ruled by my little subject. And wasn't it grand?!?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Fine Needles

That's what they call it when they do a biopsy of your thyroid with a needle. A fine needle biopsy. I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter how fine the needle is, it's still a pain in the neck.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Up and Down

My husband loves to repeat a Saturday Night Live skit where Jerry Seinfeld says, "Oprah Winfrey? What's with her? She's fat, she's thin, she's fat, she's thin. Pick a body and stick with it!" I'm feeling like I can relate to Oprah, but for me it's my mood. I'm up, I'm down, I'm up, I'm down. And I know my hubby would like to shout, "Pick a mood and stick with it!"

My solution for the blues is to surround myself with people. When I'm around people I can rise above the blue funk. I can forget all that overwhelms me and makes me sad. If I spend lots of time visiting, chatting, enjoying the company of others, whoosh, I'm up. If I read a good happy book, ahhhh, I'm up. Just one problem, while I'm busy socializing or reading, all the stuff I need to do piles up. Then, when I face the to-do pile, boom, I'm down.

I made three big mistakes in the past month. 1.) I read a book called 5 Quarters of the Orange. It was too deep and dark and heavy for me. And yet it was good in a stretching sort of way. 2.) I watched a DVD about Islam -- What the West Needs to Know. Yeah, well I didn't want to know that stuff. Now I do and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. 3.) I read The Kite Runner. I can't even talk about that. It's hailed as a story of redemption, and it is. But my heart and mind are weighed down with all the awful incidents I read. Things that needed to be redeemed...and were...after a fashion.

Somehow, I'm a better person for all this information. I don't feel better. A protective bubble burst. I'm deflated. Down. But when you're down, down, down, the only way to go is up. So here I am looking up, calling out, reaching toward the hand extended to me. Depending on Him to lift me up.

What do people do who don't have a Savior? I know. They do like one of my little boys used to do when we hopped in the car. I always turned around and asked, "Is your seat belt on?" He crossed his hands over his waist and said, "It's okay, I'll save myself."

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Warm Winter Weather

Balmy days in January bring on sniffy, sneezy headcolds. It's not the weather's fault. The blame goes to the goofball who doesn't wear a hat or coat outdoors, knowing full well that she's been burning the candle...taxing her immune system...right after all the holiday hoopla. Guilty. I'm paying my dues.

No matter I'm still thankful for: those fabulous couple of warm days in January, the big snow (before the warm spell) which made for great skiing, the open field behind the barn that provides space to make trails, the gorgeous scenery complete with wildlife that flits, flies, frolics in plain sight, this terrific place to live, and friends and family to share life with.

All good gifts, things I appreciate. Oh, and nice soft tissues. I like those too.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Resolving to What?

I've been thinking about new year resolutions. But life keeps happening and I haven't even taken time to put "make resolutions" on my to-do list.

Yesterday I got a reality check when I read Whymommy's list of resolutions for the new year (at Toddler Planet). Whymommy has been fighting Inflamatory Breast Cancer (IBC)since last summer. That means heavy duty chemo and the horrific side effects that go with it. Meanwhile she keeps her household running, plays with and reads to her children, answers lots of questions from the toddler, (hence the "Whymommy" handle) and tends to her soon to be one-year-old. All that with the help of "Whydaddy" and grandparents and friends. This wonder-woman mommy blogs every day, encourages others with cancer, and coaches others how to help a friend or family member with the dreaded disease. All that, and she took time to record new year resolutions. You know why? Because she's grateful to have a new year to plan for!

We should all look mortality in the face and see what effect it has. Then make a few resolutions.

Did I mention that her resolutions are highly ambitious? In comparison, I'm a slug. But I'm a teachable slug. Whymommy's zest for life is all the inspiration I need to appreciate the life I have. I hereby resolve to give thanks and enjoy all my blessings. That's only one resolution, but it's one I'm going to keep. I'll make a list. It'll be too long to share (still trying for short & sweet), but I'll pick out a few key things and post. Out of that, perhaps will come a few more resolutions.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

It's a New Year

...the old has passed away, behold, the new has come! So, out with the old, in with the new.

Those three little dots represent these words, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he (she) is a new creation... That was one of the first Bible verses I memorized back in 1969 when all things became new for me. A new life, a fresh start; I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.

It's good for me to remember that conversion experience. I wonder how different my life would be if I had never owned up to believing in God, confessing my sinful nature, accepting forgiveness and, and, seemed so silly at the time...asking Jesus into my heart. At least in the moment before, it seemed silly. Then, the instant the words were uttered, I'm still amazed, everything was new. You know what I'm talking about? Rebirth, renewal, regeneration.

Trivial in comparison, but this is about a new blog. I miss my old blog. So, to honor its memory, I will be true to the old blog's subtitle "IN WRITING SOMETIMES LESS IS MORE, AND ALWAYS, SHORT IS SWEET." With that, I close.