The Wee Hours

I couldn't sleep...might have been the coffee at 8 pm. I haven't been drinking high test lately so my caffeine tolerance may be lower. Or, maybe it's just that I have a lot on my mind. If anything, on nights like this, that's what keeps me from drifting off. It doesn't happen often and the cause doesn't have to be difficult stressful thoughts.

Tonight, for instance, I'm reliving Sunday morning's worship service. The liturgy at our new church is finally growing familiar -- familiar enough to rehearse it. It's becoming part of me, and I don't have to work so hard to follow along. The words and tunes flow from my heart as well as my voice, from memory, at last.

There are no contemporary choruses and very few familiar hymns. Collectively we recite prayers that I haven't prayed in church for years, confessions of sin, confessions of faith, creeds, and the Lord's Prayer. At least four sections of scripture are read, and communion is celebrated each and every week. This weekly communing with God, alongside fellow believers, is good for my soul, just like the balm of Gilead, soothing, healing, refreshing.

But reviewing it, recalling and reveling in it, is not at all...sleep inducing.

Quietly, in soft, cozy pajamas, slippered feet, and big fuzzy robe I trekked downstairs to make a cup of cocoa. On my way to the kitchen, before the light was turned on, I could see outside. Three big dark shapes against the white bright snow, deer frolicking on the front lawn. A beautiful sight in the moonlight. Worth the inconvenience of insomnia, seeing creatures of the night enjoying their wakeful time. Perfectly natural for them, not so natural for me. I sip hot cocoa and watch them until a yawn sneaks up on me. This is a good time to return to my snugly warm bed and be grateful for it. So very glad to crawl between flannel sheets and not to be bedding down in snow.

 

Watching the Inauguration

No words, so I'll share the words of Zack Hunt at his blog The American Jesus

What if the Next Four Years Were Different

 

 

And if you're struggling with all of the goings on take some advice from Rachel Held Evans

 

6 Things Christians Must Keep in Mind on Inauguration Day

 

#6 was particularly helpful to me (I say with a smile and a wink)



Break the Hate

First, recognize the Hate.
So easy to see in others. So easy to see directed at others.
So easy to justify, rationalize, defend...in me.
Impossible to break without recognizing -- Hate.

What is Hate? The opposite of Love?

Love is patient. Love is kind.
There is no room to be envious or boastful when you love.
Love is not rude and doesn't insist on its own way. Rather than demanding rights, it looks out for the rights of others.
Love is not irritable and resentful.
Love is never happy to see wrong or participate in wrong, instead it is overjoyed with what is good and true and pure and right.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love bears all things, believes all things and is full of hope.
Love endures all things.
Love never ends...once grasped, it becomes part of us and it will not leave us.

As for hate, not so. Hate can be smothered by love, done away with. Hate can be broken down, broken to pieces and swept away.

I'm counting on it.

I have a long way to go. I cannot yet admit that I hate. But I do. I hate injustice...which is so very noble of me. It's a virtue. But my virtue is my vice. Hating injustice and unjust behavior translates to hating people who are unjust, hating the bigots: racists, religious extremists, hypocrites, dogmatists, legalists, chauvinists, homophobes, political fanatics, who are terrorists in their own right.

I hate people who hate people.

And there I am -- grouped alongside them.

First I have to recognize it.
So easy to see in others.
So easy to justify in myself.

Dear God, it's time to break the hate. Starting with the hate in me. 

Guilt, Shame and New Year's Resolutions

New Year's Resolution # 1 -- Blog more often. FAIL TRY AGAIN
New Year's Resolution #2 -- Read my Bible everyday. FAIL TRY AGAIN
New Year's Resolution #3 -- Exercise. FAIL TRY AGAIN
New Year's Resolution #4 -- Eat better. FAIL TRY AGAIN

ENOUGH! Oh the shame of it all. I didn't expect to start the new year under-the-weather. When I woke each morning of January after a rotten night's sleep, I did not reach for my Bible. Instead I reached for a tissue and some ibuprophen. I didn't bound downstairs, fire up my computer to write a blog, or strap on my skis for a glide around the back field. I sure didn't fix a steaming bowl of oatmeal with walnuts and raisins. Instead I stood in a hot steamy shower and then collapsed on the couch -- calling it a day before even starting my day.

And suddenly, the calendar says 7 days of January have passed. Sheesh.

Feeling better now. Took down the Christmas decorations...well, 1/2 of the decorations. Packed for a trip to Arizona. Checked the weather in Phoenix. The forecaste is 70 degrees, which sounds absolutely glorious. So good that I'm sure to get back on track with those darn resolutions.

I've been inspired to make one more resolution -- more important than the others. I want to use Scripture, apply it to my life to change me. I don't want to use it to judge others. Pfffft...that's so easy and natural. And I swear, people think they are I think I am being a better Christian by showing off how well versed and knowledgable they are I am by juding everyone else's sins. I've been asking myself as I come to the end of reading through the entire Bible last year (another failed resolution, but hey, I might nail it by February 2013), what is the purpose of God's written down words?

I believe it's to show us how awesome and mighty He is... and that we simply don't measure up. Try as we may, even the best of us isn't good enough. Only God is good. But for some reason, known only to Him, he loves us and wants us to love him, so he made a way. The point of the Bible is to show us it's not by our works, it's by His grace that we are saved. Does the Bible tell us how we should then live? Yes it does. It says Love one another as I have loved you. It says Don't judge. It says Repent. It says Rejoice and be glad. It says Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. It says You can't do any of that on your own strength, but be of good cheer, Jesus came to make a way, and with Him, through Him, in Him all things are possible. We can do all things through Him.

Trusting in that, my new New Year's resolution is to not judge anyone other than myself. Not shame anyone (even myself), but humbly walk with God. He has shown us the way to please Him (Micah 6:8): love mercy, act justly, and walk humbly with your God (i.e. follow his example).

I can do that. It may take a little reminding, a bit of chastising, and even a little guilt, but I can do that. Not on my own of course, but with His help, I can do that. And when I FAIL I'll just hit the strike through and change it to TRY AGAIN. He just keeps giving me do-overs and second chances. What a God he is!

The Wonder of Waiting and Watching...Silently

Borrowing from my son, Aaron's message a week ago, a quote from Mother Teresa. "We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature -- trees, flowers, grass -- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.

Earlier this month friends bundled up their children and came over to watch the meteor shower. We sat in lawn chairs with our heads tilted upward, eyes wide open, ooohing and aaahing at each brilliant streak. It was a spectacular show, but you had to be watching. Each shooting star zipped silently across the dark sky. No fanfare announced we should get ready. No sound alerted us to look over here, or watch this. There was no swooshing sound like when you send an email. If you were looking at a different part of the sky, if you dropped your eyes to take a sip of hot cocoa, if you turned to a friend to share a thought -- no telling what you'd miss. Each star shot by without a sound. Only afore mentioned ooohs and aaahs, gasps, and "Did-you-see-that?!?" told of having missed a good one. The children chattered, sang out and danced with glee. Good memories in the making! Their mom reminisced -- when she was a little girl her family gathered outside in the dark to watch falling stars. And, I can attest, she still gets just as excited as she must have way back when.

All sounds made that evening came from us, but the stars moved in silence. The light show was astounding, astonishing, absolutely beautiful. And all of  heaven was silent.

Here's to silence! Here's to being quiet as I wait, watch, prepare my heart to celebrate the coming of the Christ child. Christmas -- except for Easter -- is the holiest of the holidays for me. No words can adequately describe, and perhaps I would do well to be quiet, speachless in anticipation and wonder. Starting now, but first...

May God be with you and me exactly as he intends to be.

May you be blessed with a very happy holiday.

Christmas Greeting

My Christmas letter for those who didn't receive it via U.S.P.S. To you, my faithful blog followers and dear facebook friends, an e-greeting with sincere wishes to you and yours for a splendid Christmas holiday.

 

Merry Christmas

December 2012

I wish I had written the Christmas letter before the recent, unimaginable tragedy. My heart is heavy for all of the families who will be grieving in a way that I can’t even imagine…at Christmas. This is the most celebrated season of the year, and not only for Christians. Tom and I celebrate the coming of Jesus as a baby, the savior of the world.  One sister’s family celebrates Hanukkah, the festival of lights. A brother’s family celebrates the wonder of Christmas through the magic of Santa. Some of our family, some of mine and some of Tom’s, pull from the long list of holiday traditions and just celebrate. I love that my sis-in-law has carried on her family’s tradition and puts up a tree on Christmas Eve. I couldn’t stand to wait that long, but how special it would be! I remember when I was a little girl, a Christmas morning where we woke up to see a dazzling decorated tree that hadn’t been there the night before. Oh the wonder of it all, pure magic.

In so many ways people across the nation and around the world celebrate a season of joy and hope, love and peace. Though our reasons for the season vary, on this we agree: what the world needs now is more joy and hope, love and peace. My joy and hope spring from faith in a God who would come to earth as a tiny baby. He lived with people and experienced joy and sorrow, delight and pain. My peace comes in knowing he understands grief and temptation.  He was and is good and kind and without sin, yet he gives us every opportunity to be free from our sin, to be like him – good, kind, and compassionate – because he loves us. That’s why Tom and I celebrate Christmas. It’s a time to rejoice and revel in knowing a way has been made. Our hearts have seen the Lord’s salvation, a light for revelation to every one of all nations and for the glory of God’s people, Israel.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given: and the government shall be on his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

*** 

This has been a milestone year for me. I turned 60 in October, and Tom is staring down 60 (Jan. 2nd). We are counting down to his retirement! (18 months or so) And with that comes a dream of a little retirement home just across the field, overlooking French Creek. And we are hoping against hope that one of our sons will move into this old farmhouse and fill it up with children. (wink, wink).

Our boys – grown and gone— are all doing well. Nathan in California is furthering his education and serving in a Baptist church as worship leader. Aaron and Amy are still in State College. He has a new position at the State College Christian and Missionary Alliance Church as lead pastor; Amy serves alongside him and keeps very busy nurturing their little boys. Grant 5 (almost 6!) and Max 2 ½ are the light of our lives. It can’t be helped, they are remarkable children, and we love them so. Adam and Alicia live in Butler, PA – and in light of everyone else being so far away, they faithfully make sure we have family to be with for all the little holidays, birthdays, and other significant events. It helps that Alicia’s parents are in Edinboro, which is less than 10 miles away. David and Melanie are in Colorado, but we’re hoping and praying that they’ll be back to PA soon, possibly living right here in this big rambling house. Those plans are in God’s hands…which is to say, totally up, up, up in the air.

And a big change that came to our lives this year – we’ve found ourselves attending a new church, St. Paul’s Lutheran. Being Lutheran brings us full-circle in a sense. We were married in a Lutheran church 41 years ago. The liturgy is soothing, meaningful, and most importantly, worshipful. And I don’t mind at all the nostalgia invoked, reminding me not only of our early married life, but my Catholic roots as well. It’s all good. Life is full of learning, growing, changing – not always in that order and not always in equal measure, which reminds me of what my dad says, oh so often, too soon old, too late smart.

Merry Christmas dear friends and family! And Happy Holiday, whatever your holiday may be! Let there be joy, love, hope and peace on earth, and let it begin with us.

Love, Tom and Betsy

 

 

 

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Inside...the stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

Outside... the fluffy snow is falling fast. Accumulation so far, about 8 inches. There's a good chance we'll be having a white Christmas...hip, hip hooray!

Be Still And Know

I've been busy trying to... be still and know that the Lord is God. (But it's the holidays, you know.) My sister gave me a footstool which reminds me...I need the reminder (because it's the holidays, you know.) And here's another reminder, something that can stop a person in his (or her) tracks. A spectacularly glorious, brilliantly colored, beautifully quiet... sunrise.

 

When morning gilds the skies, like this, 

it's just another reminder to

be still and know,

there is a God. 

 



Wow! Thanks!

Anne Lamott's newest book Help! Thanks! Wow! is a treatise on the three essentials of prayer. In Aaron Henning's latest sermon "Beyond Thanksgiving" he doesn't quote Anne Lamott, but he does quote Ravi Zacharias who wrote a book about rediscovering wonder in our lives. So, in the title of this post, I summed up Aaron's message, borrowing from Anne, and juxtapositioning her words to Wow! Thanks! We pray: help, thanks, wow, and we should live: wow, thanks! Thanks for everything all the time...wow, thanks!

 At least if we're in Christ that's how we should live. He's done something matchless for us in saving us, giving us a hope and a future. Borrowing from Aaron -- If God never answers one more of my prayers in the way I hope that he will, still I have so much to be thankful for. This life is not the only one we've got. This world isn't the be all and end all. There is heaven to come!

The message "Beyond Thanksgiving" ended with something like this: For those who are in Christ this world is the closest you will ever get to hell. (To which I shout -- Hallelujah!) But for those who are not in Christ, this world is the closest one will ever get to heaven.

That puts my suffering -- all the sorrows I have ever experienced as well as the ones I have yet to experience -- in perspective. And my sufferings are exponentially better or worse in conjunction with my attitude of gratitude. When I'm thankful for all the good things in life the hardships pale. And in light of that, I want to make a conscious effort to live in awe. I don't want to lose the wonder.

How wonerful it would be to live a life of gratitude with a heart full of thanksgiving always, all the time, giving thanks to God without ceasing.  

...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV 

Precious in His Sight

We attended a funeral on Friday...a friend's mother passed away. She lived a life of service to her family, her church and in her neighborhood, teaching, serving, and being hospitable. Her work is over. Her days on earth are done. She has gone to the heavenly home and heavenly rest promised.

One scripture the pastor used at her service was Psalm 116:15 "Precious in the sight of The Lord is the death of his saints." Another version says "When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him." And yet another, "The Lord cares deeply when his loved ones die."

I don't understand the whole life and death thing... I'm grateful for the first, for life and living it abundantly, for new life, for babies. And yet I know there is a season for everything and a necessary life cycle. I imagine there is coming a day when I'll be grateful for the latter. When, as it says in Eccesiastes 12, I am stooped over and my grinders cease because they are few. When my eyes see dimly and my hearing fails. When I rise up early in the morning with birds but can't enjoy their singing for diminished aural abilities. That'll be the time I'll be grateful for a home going, for opportunity to enter into a final rest. I hope God will welcome me at the gates of death. I pray my passing will be precious in his sight.

There is a beautiful hymn we sang in my old church...Does Jesus Care? It brought tears every time it was sung. And yet it is oh so comforting, especially the chorus:
Oh yes he cares, I know he cares,
His heart is touched by my grief;
When the days are weary,
And the long nights dreary,
I know my savior cares.
(from I Peter 5:7 the cast-all-your-cares verse)

But I'm not sad. The funeral wasn't a sad service. It was a celebration of a life well lived and a joyous send-off. Most all of Mrs. Shaffer's great-grandchildren, led by their cousin the youngest Shaffer granddaughter, stood up front and sang "Jesus Loves Me". How proud she must have been, watching down and whispering her prayer that each of them would know in their heart the truth of that simple song. Jesus loves us. And he wants us to love him back. The Bible tells me so.